Grubbing Around

First it was Morgan Spurlock asking Maccy Ds to Supersize Me. Last night it was some restaurant critic wondering why the Edwardian diet of meat, meat and more meat was causing his BMI and cholesterol to soar. In contrast, the efforts of Louise Redknapp to reduce herself to size 0 from her usual ‘curvy’(!) size 8 were the subject of a TV documentary. But that seems distinctly ‘last year’ when size 00 is now THE label dwarfing the waistband of designer jeans. In fact a TV programme on Sunday called ‘Superskinny Me: The Race to Double Zero’ will feature two female journalists attempting to do just that

Whilst not demeaning their efforts to expose the health risks associated with this trend, I really wish they hadn’t bothered, because I’m sure that it’ll be more of the usual fare. Images of size 00 jeans. Shots of astonished journalists pulling at the waists of size 00 jeans. Pictures of size 00 celebrities sporting the only rack of ribs they’ll ever get near. Treadmills. Sweat. Carrot sticks. Glasses of water. Midnight camcorder diaries. Tears. Close-ups of a bespectacled Harley Street doctor announcing the full extent of the self-mutilation. And, of course, to the ‘heroic’ journalists 5 minutes of fame via interviews with Fern, Philip, Richard and Judy.

Frankly, like smoking, I think we’ve all got the message by now. Anyone who thinks that a diet of burgers or toenails is a good idea must have a Venusian passport. School dinners are different now. Even McDonalds have changed.

But still we continue to be obsessed with weight - putting it on and taking it off. We follow the diets of the poo-examining, tofu-obsessed Gillian McKeith, Dr ‘you’ll look so slim on the heart attack ward’ Atkins and the mastication free Slim Fast all with little chance of success.

And in the week when Oxfam announced an £5m appeal to help the world’s greatest humanitarian crisis in Darfur, where people have just 3 litres of water per day on which to live, (the minimum ration should be 15 litres) I find the focus on what we eat obscene.

And no - I don’t think these programmes are in any way 'useful' for those suffering from eating disorders. The last thing that people struggling with food need are people telling them how difficult under/overeating is - as if anorexia and bulimia were a simple lifestyle choice.

But still. Perhaps there may be a gap in the documentary market. ‘Normal-Size Me.’ Captivating shots of someone eating a couple of Weetabix for breakfast. Gruelling shots of people walking briskly to the shops to buy some veggies for the weekend. Perhaps the occasional ‘shocking’ image of someone eating just one chocolate biscuit. Because when it comes to food the one thing we all need to follow is the Commonsense Diet.

Isn’t it?